Starting Over

"I had my favourite dream again last night. You know, the one in the field."

"Tell me about it again."

"I'm standing in this grassy field. Alone. I'm barefoot. The sun is rising quickly, more quickly than normal. No matter what direction I look in there's nothing but grass and sky. There are no buildings, no highways, no trace of society or even humanity. I neither know, nor care, if there are other people in this world, the world is content to leave me alone. As I begin to run towards nothing in particular the field behind me catches ablaze. I feel the warmth behind me, following me towards the horizon. I run until my knees grow weak. As I fall to the ground the fire washes over me, cleansing and returning my body to the earth."

"Is the fire new?"

"A variation, yes. Sometimes it's a flood, or tornado, but always conceptually similar."

"Hmm, that's interesting. And this is your favourite?"

"It's simple, most dreams are complicated, this one isn't. It's peaceful. And quiet."

"Have you given any more thought to what we discussed last time?"

"You mean starting over?"

"Yes. Do you still think that's something you want to do?"

"I think so. I mean, there seems to be so little left for me now."

"It's a big decision, one you can't go back from. I'm not trying to talk you out of it, it could be really good for you, but I want to be certain you understand the significance."

"I do. You know what it is, Doc? I was thinking about it after our last session, it's the lack of surprise. I don't mean that I want people to jump out at me on my birthday, or for me to win the lottery, or anything like that, I mean that all the times that things have gone wrong, that I'm disappointed, I'm not surprised. I predict tragedy from miles away."

"And this is something you don't like?"

"Yeah, I hate it. Even if I have a really good day, like one that I'm actually happy, when I get home I know that it won't last. I know that the next day that friendly barista won't be working, that my boss won't take us out for lunch, and that she won't call me back. You see what I'm saying? I'm saying that I have no hope. And the worst part is that I'm always right. Time after time my pessimism is validated, so what am I supposed to do?"

"Give up. That's what you want, right? Just to give up."

"It's not giving up. I just want a second chance. Don't I deserve that?"

"That's not for me to say, but don't think for a second that this isn't giving up. It is. You're telling me that you're broken, that your life is broken, and you're either incapable or unwilling to fix it."

"Fine, I'm giving up. Is that what you want to hear? I'm just so tired. And even if I could somehow pick up the pieces and salvage this life, would it all be worth it? Even if I met a nice girl, got a new job that I love, started a family, in the end I'd still be me, right? So what's the point?"

"Alright, good. I just didn't want you to regret leaving yourself behind."

"Don't worry about that."

"So when are you going to do it?"

"Right after this, I guess. Why put it off?"

"Have you told anyone else?"

"No, who would I tell? My boss?"

"How about your mother?"

"You tell her. If there's ever a time where she comes looking for me, you can tell her."

"Well, that's it then. And our session is over. I hope things work out for you."

"Me too, Doc."

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"Hi, can I speak to someone about starting over?"

"Certainly, sir. I can help you right here."

"Alright... I want to do it."

"Excellent, you came to the right place. ReBirth is the world's leading specialists in starting over procedures. Now, what kind of package were you interested in?"

"What are my choices?"

"There's our basic package, that's the most popular. Guaranteed a middle-class family in one of these very pleasant towns. Or there's the premium package. That one guarantees a high-class family, minimum $500,000 income, in one of the five major cities. I recommend the premium package for the best results. Of course, if money is tight than we also offer the procedure without any package, however the results for that are unpredictable. You could end up born into an abusive family, or any number of horrible scenarios."

"How much for the basic package? That one sounds nice."

"Oh, it is, you'll be very happy, sir. The basic package comes to $117,390 after taxes. We accept debit, cash, or assets at a 3:1 value, for obvious reasons we do not accept cheque or credit."

"Alright, between my house, my car, and all my money I should have enough."

"Let me check for you. Your hand, please... Okay, so the home in your name is valued at $277,553, your car is valued at $15,395, and you have $22,680 in the bank bringing your total to $120,329. Congratulations, we'll have you sign a few papers and then be on your way. Do you have arrangements for the remaining $2939, we do also offer bequeathment services."

"You keep it, consider it a tip. I think I signed all these right."

"Thank you sir, that is very generous. And yes, all the paperwork is in order. Now if you're ready please proceed through the doors to my left and take a seat in the chair. The technician will be there shortly to help you set everything up."

"That's it? Thanks, I guess."

"You're very welcome sir, have a great life."