Solitude ........................................................................................................Part 1: Ignorance

He didn't believe the first news reports. Everyone always gets overexcited about these kind of things. One man's cold is another's pandemic. He just kept about his usual business. He kept clocking in 3-and-a-half minutes early for work, he continued to avoid most personal connections, and he continued to enjoy his solitude in the evenings. He didn't purchase a surgical mask, he didn't carry a bottle of sanitizer, and he didn't even get the vaccination when it was finally developed. Everybody else did, but he was a born skeptic, and his apathy towards his own mortality proved too much of an adversary to overcome.

Two weeks later the world came crashing down. He sat, without a care, as mother nature finally wiped her slate clean. The parasite known as mankind was eradicated from the planet, except for Jim. He just remained in his one-bedroom apartment locked away from the catastrophe. It wasn't until he arrived at work the morning after his week off that he discovered anything was amiss. He punched in, sat at his desk, put his headphones on, and began mindlessly plugging away at the reams of spreadsheets before him. He took his lunch and noted the peace and quiet, it wasn't like him to complain about being alone, but he knew this wasn't normal. He was never allowed to be alone.

After he finished his lunch he poked his head into his boss's office. When no one answered his knock he timidly entered the room. It was empty. The computer was off and there was no evidence that anyone had been here at all. Jim began wandering around the entire building looking for someone, anyone. He scoured every room of that ten-story building. No one was there. Most of the plants were beginning to wilt, dust was gathering, the phones were disconnected. Jim was not a man easily startled, but even he was becoming unnerved.

Jim decided there was no reason for him to keep working. He packed up his things and headed out into the world. The cars in the street, which in the morning light appeared to be just traffic now appeared to Jim as an ominous sign of a world in decay. Most cars were abandoned, those that weren't were now homes to their deceased owners. The streets were littered with garbage and biological waste. Stray animals, still wearing their collars, roamed the streets unsure of what to do. Other than the pitter-patter of paws and the whistling of the wind the city was silent. There was no honking, no yelling of obscenities, not even the sound of anyone else breathing. Never had Jim experienced such quiet. He loved it.

After wandering up and down a series of random streets and alleys Jim figured that he was completely alone,  in this city at least. He kept walking for much of the rest of the day. He stopped at the grocery store and made a sandwich from preserved meat and cheeses, already the fresh organic food had begun to rot. The stench was quite overpowering, but Jim wasn't one to complain. This did cause him to wonder just how long things had been amiss. This obviously didn't happen overnight.

Jim kept walking until he reached the library. The door was locked. He began to turn away, but then it occurred to him that there was no police, no security, nor anybody to stop him or force him to deal with any consequences of his actions. He picked up a large stone and threw it through the main doors. The glass doors shattered before him, a deafening alarm rang out. Jim's heart dropped, he had never broken the law before. Sure, once he stole a candy bar from the corner store, but he, of his own volition, returned it the same day unopened and apologized profusely. The alarm kept ringing. It began to hurt Jim's ears. He just wanted it to stop. Stepping inside the doors Jim quickly found the alarm panel to his left. He began futilely pressing random numbers hoping to get lucky. After thirty seconds his ears couldn't take anymore. Jim turned, grabbed a newspaper from the nearest table, and left the ringing building.

The newspaper was from five days ago. Jim walked a ways done the street, far enough that the alarm could no longer be heard, and sat on a stoop to read the most recent news he'd ever read. The front page headline read "Pandemic Escalating: Citizens Encouraged to Stay Home". The article confirmed Jim's theory that this disease had been much more serious than he had ever believed. The article stated that the symptoms began as dizziness, fever, and headache, but soon escalated into heart palpitations, fainting, coughing blood, and an eventual failure of major organs. Jim kept reading. The article also claimed that the vaccinations had proved to be ineffective and in fact may have contributed to the rapid spread of the disease. Jim set the paper down and glanced around half-expecting to see a crowd of people parading down the street, but he just saw a lone cat sheepishly watching him.

The sun was beginning to set on this day. It had just occurred to Jim that he was quite far away from his apartment. There was no longer any bus or subway for him to take home, he was stuck walking. He grabbed his paper and began walking in the general direction of his home. The cat followed from a distance. The wind started to pick up, there was a chill in the air. Jim was without a jacket and began to shiver. He decided to step inside a large building to briefly warm up. Jim pushed his way through the revolving doors and only then he realized what building this was.

Jim had just entered the finest luxury hotel this town had to offer. The lobby was empty. Jim, cold and tired, decided it would be best if he simply spent the night here. He would return home in the morning. The keys were all neatly organized behind the desk. Jim picked one from the third floor and set off up the stairs. Room 327. As he came closer to the door he began feeling quite excited about this opportunity. Jim had never been a man of means, he had only ever stayed in one hotel in his life. Once a long time ago when he was visiting his father for the weekend. His dad forgot to pick him up from the airport. He tried calling him, but no answer. When he finally reached his mother, who was never very good at hiding her anger, she told him to stay in the airport and wait for her to call back. Twenty-one minutes later she called back and told Jim that she had sorted it out for him to stay in the hotel just next door. He walked over in the darkness only to be greeted by a scolding bellhop. The man just stared at him as he walked towards the front desk. The receptionist was much sweeter. She smiled and spoke softly. She walked Jim to his room made sure he felt safe and comfortable. After twenty minutes she brought up half a pizza and a milkshake. Jim never wanted to leave.

Finally, there was room 327. Jim slid the key in and opened the door. He was excited. He just loved the idea of being away from home. The door only opened part-way. Jim pushed a little harder, but the door wouldn't budge. Someone had placed the chain lock on from inside. Frustrated and without thinking Jim kicked the door and broke the chain from the wall. A stagnant aroma wafted into Jim's nostrils as he began to poke his head through the doorway. Inside the room Jim could see the painted toenails of a woman's feet at the foot of one of the beds. He turned his head right and could see a middle-aged man soaking in the tub. Both did not appear to be moving.
.........................................................................................................................

(End of part 1)

Live Theatre

"Firstly, I just want to thank everyone for coming. I know you're busy and I appreciate you taking the time out of your days. I don't really know what to say about Dave. He was a great man, truly. I remember when we were kids, he always pushed me around and teased me because I was smaller and weaker. One day when I was just starting to catch up to his weight class I asked him why he would always give me such a hard time. He just smiled, those of you that knew him would know this smile, that half-smirk half-sincere look that he'd get whenever he was trying to hide his emotions, he would give me that look a lot. Anyway, he had that look and he just said that he was trying to make sure I was tough enough to take care of myself, tough enough to be a great man. I remember turning away and being, well in all honesty, being really quite pissed. I mean what a bs excuse for torturing your little brother. Finally, after I had cooled off a bit, I just looked at him and said, you're kidding right? Then he just nonchalantly took a sip of his beer, like he so often did, and gave that same smirk and said 'it worked, didn't it?'.... Hmph.  Besides this one moment there really wasn't a lot of tenderness between us. We fought, we drifted apart, the usual stuff, but when it came down to it, I know we loved each other, and I'm going to miss him more than I know right now. God bless."



"That was quite a eulogy."

"Sure was. Were you and Dave close?"

"Not really, no. He and I worked together. He was a nice guy, always made the coffee in the morning."

"Is that right?"

"Yeah. Your brother will be sorely missed."

"Oh... Dave wasn't my brother."

"I'm sorry."

"Dave's brother is Stan, that solemn looking man in the corner to my left."

"..."

"Sorry, I just read the eulogy for him."

"So how did you know Dave?"

"I didn't"

"Then what the hell are you doing reading the eulogy?"

"I get paid to."

"By whom?"

"It's a service the funeral home offers. I come in, read whatever is written and try my best to really sell it."

"You're kidding? Who would pay for that?"

"You'd be surprised. I'm actually quite busy these days."

"No offence, but that's... well that's not good."

"Why do you say that?"

"I don't know, it's just weird. I mean, at my funeral I wouldn't want a stranger reading something about me. What do you think Dave would say?"

"If you want to ask him he's in that box over there."

"..."

"Look sweetheart, I know what I do is wrong. I give people an escape from confronting their emotions at the one place they should have to, but that's just the society we live in. I hate to break it to you, but people would rather sit back and hear some nice sentiments said by a stranger than watch as a grown man stumbles through a tear-filled speech."

"I don't believe that's true."

"My life kinda proves that it is."

"I guess, I just don't really want to believe it."

"Funerals can be depressing, eh?"

"Yeah... How do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Your job. Doesn't it just kill you? Every day you're forced to mourn the loss of a stranger. How does your soul survive that?"

"Hmph. That's a good question. I'm an actor by trade so I just become that character, one that is sad in the moment, but I just drop it the second I step down from that spotlight."

"It's gotta stick with you a little?"

"Maybe at first, but I've gotten better. Like right now I don't feel like Dave's brother, I don't feel any great loss. I'm just kinda hungry."

"That's either admirable or despicable, I'm not too sure."

"You kiddin'? Today was nothing. This was like a high-school play compared to the masterpiece I put on last week. Tragic car accident, single father driving his 7-year-old son to school when they're hit by a drunk driver... at 8 in the morning. Dad died and the son wrote the eulogy. It was really heartfelt, so much raw emotion. When I got to the part about him never getting to play catch with his dad again the crowd lost it. I could feel their hearts fall to the floor. I don't know if I'll ever deliver a more powerful performance. It was my Citizen Kane."

"I'm speechless."

"Good theatre will do that to you."

"I'm not sure, but I think you could use some help."

"I appreciate the concern, but I'll be alright. Always am."

"Do you ever think what will happen when you're forced to face real tragedy in your own life?"

"Listen doll, I've faced my fair share of tragedy, I don't know how much I have left to face, but the thought of it certainly doesn't keep me up at night."

"My theory, if you care, is that one of two things will happen. Either you'll learn that you are actually dead inside and feel nothing."

"That's probably it."

"OR, you're floodgates that you so carefully constructed over the years will burst causing you to feel the pain of every character you've ever played. I think it just might kill you."

"Thanks doc, but I'll take my chances."

"Just giving you my two cents, not that I really care. I'm more or less just killing time till I can leave."

"Aren't we all?"

"I suppose."

"In all honesty, I'm more concerned with who will read the eulogy when I die. Like, how do you follow a performance like mine? I'm not trying to be arrogant, but I am a professional."

"I think I'm done talking to you now."

"Okay, but who else are you going to talk to? Everyone else looks really depressed."

"I'll take my chances."

"Alright, your funeral."

"..."

"C'mon, not even a smile? That was funny."

"..."

"There it is."

"Why are you even still here? Don't you have something to practice or something?"

"I got to keep up appearances, part of the deal."

"So shouldn't you still be in character?"

"I have him tucked away, if need be I can bring him out again."

"Do it. Pretend for the next few minutes that you aren't the twisted and fractured man you are and just fake being real."

"Give me a sec... Alright."

"Ready? Let's start over... That was quite a eulogy you gave."

"Thank you, I wasn't sure if I would get through it, but I'm glad I did. I think Dave would've liked it. He might've sarcastically slow-clapped, but deep down I know he would've been crying."

"He was a good man, your brother."

"He was. Better than me in a lot of ways. I remember as kids he was always faster, stronger, smarter. And then as adults he was braver, nicer, and just better."

"Maybe the wrong brother died."

"Maybe..."

"Really? You think that's what he'd say to that? I think he'd be a little more taken aback."

"..."

"Wait, are you crying? Jesus, you're really dedicated to the bit."

"I'm sorry, I just... I just don't know how to react to all this. I just feel... Well honestly I just feel."

"I'm confused."

"Look, I think you're here for a reason. I think you're here to help me get through this. I think you're the light to guide me through this storm."

"Are you still in character?"

"Forget about all that, will you help me? I'm broken and I need someone to fix me. I know that's a lot to ask, hell you don't even know my name, but I can tell you care more than you should already. I can tell that you're a sucker for a bird with a broken wing."

"What's your name?"

"I'm Stan, and I'm a mess right now."

"Alright Stan, why don't we get you a drink and we can talk a bit more."

"Yeah, that sounds good.... Thank you."