Live Theatre

"Firstly, I just want to thank everyone for coming. I know you're busy and I appreciate you taking the time out of your days. I don't really know what to say about Dave. He was a great man, truly. I remember when we were kids, he always pushed me around and teased me because I was smaller and weaker. One day when I was just starting to catch up to his weight class I asked him why he would always give me such a hard time. He just smiled, those of you that knew him would know this smile, that half-smirk half-sincere look that he'd get whenever he was trying to hide his emotions, he would give me that look a lot. Anyway, he had that look and he just said that he was trying to make sure I was tough enough to take care of myself, tough enough to be a great man. I remember turning away and being, well in all honesty, being really quite pissed. I mean what a bs excuse for torturing your little brother. Finally, after I had cooled off a bit, I just looked at him and said, you're kidding right? Then he just nonchalantly took a sip of his beer, like he so often did, and gave that same smirk and said 'it worked, didn't it?'.... Hmph.  Besides this one moment there really wasn't a lot of tenderness between us. We fought, we drifted apart, the usual stuff, but when it came down to it, I know we loved each other, and I'm going to miss him more than I know right now. God bless."



"That was quite a eulogy."

"Sure was. Were you and Dave close?"

"Not really, no. He and I worked together. He was a nice guy, always made the coffee in the morning."

"Is that right?"

"Yeah. Your brother will be sorely missed."

"Oh... Dave wasn't my brother."

"I'm sorry."

"Dave's brother is Stan, that solemn looking man in the corner to my left."

"..."

"Sorry, I just read the eulogy for him."

"So how did you know Dave?"

"I didn't"

"Then what the hell are you doing reading the eulogy?"

"I get paid to."

"By whom?"

"It's a service the funeral home offers. I come in, read whatever is written and try my best to really sell it."

"You're kidding? Who would pay for that?"

"You'd be surprised. I'm actually quite busy these days."

"No offence, but that's... well that's not good."

"Why do you say that?"

"I don't know, it's just weird. I mean, at my funeral I wouldn't want a stranger reading something about me. What do you think Dave would say?"

"If you want to ask him he's in that box over there."

"..."

"Look sweetheart, I know what I do is wrong. I give people an escape from confronting their emotions at the one place they should have to, but that's just the society we live in. I hate to break it to you, but people would rather sit back and hear some nice sentiments said by a stranger than watch as a grown man stumbles through a tear-filled speech."

"I don't believe that's true."

"My life kinda proves that it is."

"I guess, I just don't really want to believe it."

"Funerals can be depressing, eh?"

"Yeah... How do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Your job. Doesn't it just kill you? Every day you're forced to mourn the loss of a stranger. How does your soul survive that?"

"Hmph. That's a good question. I'm an actor by trade so I just become that character, one that is sad in the moment, but I just drop it the second I step down from that spotlight."

"It's gotta stick with you a little?"

"Maybe at first, but I've gotten better. Like right now I don't feel like Dave's brother, I don't feel any great loss. I'm just kinda hungry."

"That's either admirable or despicable, I'm not too sure."

"You kiddin'? Today was nothing. This was like a high-school play compared to the masterpiece I put on last week. Tragic car accident, single father driving his 7-year-old son to school when they're hit by a drunk driver... at 8 in the morning. Dad died and the son wrote the eulogy. It was really heartfelt, so much raw emotion. When I got to the part about him never getting to play catch with his dad again the crowd lost it. I could feel their hearts fall to the floor. I don't know if I'll ever deliver a more powerful performance. It was my Citizen Kane."

"I'm speechless."

"Good theatre will do that to you."

"I'm not sure, but I think you could use some help."

"I appreciate the concern, but I'll be alright. Always am."

"Do you ever think what will happen when you're forced to face real tragedy in your own life?"

"Listen doll, I've faced my fair share of tragedy, I don't know how much I have left to face, but the thought of it certainly doesn't keep me up at night."

"My theory, if you care, is that one of two things will happen. Either you'll learn that you are actually dead inside and feel nothing."

"That's probably it."

"OR, you're floodgates that you so carefully constructed over the years will burst causing you to feel the pain of every character you've ever played. I think it just might kill you."

"Thanks doc, but I'll take my chances."

"Just giving you my two cents, not that I really care. I'm more or less just killing time till I can leave."

"Aren't we all?"

"I suppose."

"In all honesty, I'm more concerned with who will read the eulogy when I die. Like, how do you follow a performance like mine? I'm not trying to be arrogant, but I am a professional."

"I think I'm done talking to you now."

"Okay, but who else are you going to talk to? Everyone else looks really depressed."

"I'll take my chances."

"Alright, your funeral."

"..."

"C'mon, not even a smile? That was funny."

"..."

"There it is."

"Why are you even still here? Don't you have something to practice or something?"

"I got to keep up appearances, part of the deal."

"So shouldn't you still be in character?"

"I have him tucked away, if need be I can bring him out again."

"Do it. Pretend for the next few minutes that you aren't the twisted and fractured man you are and just fake being real."

"Give me a sec... Alright."

"Ready? Let's start over... That was quite a eulogy you gave."

"Thank you, I wasn't sure if I would get through it, but I'm glad I did. I think Dave would've liked it. He might've sarcastically slow-clapped, but deep down I know he would've been crying."

"He was a good man, your brother."

"He was. Better than me in a lot of ways. I remember as kids he was always faster, stronger, smarter. And then as adults he was braver, nicer, and just better."

"Maybe the wrong brother died."

"Maybe..."

"Really? You think that's what he'd say to that? I think he'd be a little more taken aback."

"..."

"Wait, are you crying? Jesus, you're really dedicated to the bit."

"I'm sorry, I just... I just don't know how to react to all this. I just feel... Well honestly I just feel."

"I'm confused."

"Look, I think you're here for a reason. I think you're here to help me get through this. I think you're the light to guide me through this storm."

"Are you still in character?"

"Forget about all that, will you help me? I'm broken and I need someone to fix me. I know that's a lot to ask, hell you don't even know my name, but I can tell you care more than you should already. I can tell that you're a sucker for a bird with a broken wing."

"What's your name?"

"I'm Stan, and I'm a mess right now."

"Alright Stan, why don't we get you a drink and we can talk a bit more."

"Yeah, that sounds good.... Thank you."