No Refunds

"Why won't you talk to me?"

"I don't know what you want me to say."

"Just tell me that you still care about me. Tell me that you won't ever leave."

"I can't tell you that."

"But... you just did. On Monday, you told me you'd always be here, you'd always care."

"A lot has changed since then, David."

.............................................................................................................................

"So what does it do?" David asked the cashier, curious about such a seemingly unproportionately expensive product.

"Whatever you want, really. Cleans, cooks, talks, it's like having a maid, or a roommate that's tolerable." The cashier smiled, thinking about the commission he needed to put food on his table.

"What's the return policy here?"

"For this product you have only seven days to return it, but trust me you won't want to. No one ever does."

Saturday

David brought the box home, unsure about the possibility that it brought. He simply was a forty-three year old man who was unable to take care of himself. He needed help, is all he thought.

The box was large and cumbersome. It only occurred to him when he was already through the door that he could've just had it walk itself inside. He almost laughed as he struggled to catch his breathe.

David carefully cut the box open with the trepidation of a small child taking it's first steps. He wondered if this would be worth it. He wondered if the man at the store had deceived him. You can't trust anyone these days.

With the box now open David stared at the mechanical contraption before him. It stood at 5'3". It looked unfriendly and strange. It appeared to be in the vein of a human; it had two arms, two legs, a head, but something about it was off-putting. It was as if it was designed by someone who had never seen a human, someone who was merely having one described to them. All the pieces were present, but it was missing something. Some cohesion. David reached down to the floor and retrieved the manual that had fallen.

"Program start."

"Hello, please state your name." The robot's head lifted and it's eyes glowed. David was unsure of whether or not it was smiling.

"David."

"Hello David, it's nice to meet you. What would you like my name to be?"

"Emily." David said without even thinking.

Sunday

David woke up to the smell of coffee on his nightstand. The steam billowed from the cup as Emily left the room to continue on with it's chores. David sat up in his bed and grabbed the coffee. It took him a few seconds before he considered the lunacy of the situation, but the coffee smelt delicious and had just the perfect amount of cream.

David left his room after enjoying the coffee. He used the washroom and as he left he was startled by Emily standing before him.

"Good morning, David. Would you like me to make you some breakfast?"

David had to think for a moment. Breakfast sounded pretty good, but once again the uneasiness set in. He couldn't tell if he didn't trust this contraption, or that he simply didn't want to impose on its good will.

"Sure, breakfast sounds fine. How about scrambled eggs and toast?"

"Yes, I will get that ready immediately."

Emily retreated to the kitchen and David followed. His house smelled of lemon pledge and floor cleaner. The wooden furniture reflected the lights of the house more than David had thought possible. On the dining room floor a small orange cone was placed that read "Caution: Floor may be Wet."

In what seemed like moments Emily was serving breakfast. It was perfectly made and garnished with a daisy. David half-smiled and began to eat. Emily sat down at the other end of the table and waited.

Monday

David was getting used to Emily. It had become a great help around the house. Things were clean, food was ready whenever he was hungry. His house was starting to feel like a home again.

That evening as Emily poured David's tea, David just wanted something to talk to.

"Emily, how are you?"

"I'm fine, thank you. How are you?"

"Same old, same old..." David suddenly began craving something much stronger than tea. Emily brought him a beer, perfectly chilled. David continued to talk to Emily, Emily continued to listen and bring beer. They talked about politics, about the economy, about tv. But after three hours and several beers David didn't know what else to say.

"Would you like me to help you to bed, David? It is 11:30pm."

"No, I'm alright. Do you want to talk about something?"

"I want to talk about whatever you want to talk about."

David smiled if only for a moment. Those words seemed too familiar and they cut like barbed wire against his heart. He finished his last drink.

"Can I ask you something... Emily?

"Of course, David."

"Will you ever leave me?"

"I am unable to leave without your instruction."

"So you won't?"

"No."

"Can you say it."

"I won't ever leave you."

Tuesday

David woke up on his couch, head throbbing, stomach churning, swearing that he would never drink again. And there was Emily, standing by him, offering aspirin and water. David gladly accepted and already began feeling better. He thanked Emily and was sure he saw it smile.

David spent the majority of the day on the couch watching terrible tv. Emily continued to bring him food, drink, and whatever else he asked for. But shortly after lunch David stopped asking for things. He sat up and told Emily to sit down beside him. He put on the Jetsons, not because he liked it, but because he thought that she might.

Wednesday

"Dad? Are you home?"

"Yeah, Vanessa, I'm in the living room."

Vanessa shut the door behind her and entered the living room. She was taken aback by the cleanliness and overall order of the room.

"Wow, you actually cleaned?"

"Something like that."

"So how are you? Are you eating alright? I brought a casserole for you, you just have to heat it up, I could even do that before I leave. Or I could..."

"That's fine, thank you. I'm doing well, a lot better. It's sweet of you to be concerned though."

Emily cruised the hallway and caught Vanessa's attention.

"Is that what I think it is?"

"Yeah, it's great. The house is clean, I don't have to cook, I can just relax. She just helps me."

Vanessa suddenly was startled by Emily's appearance behind her.

"Hello."

"Hello?"

"I'm Emily, what is your name?"

Vanessa, tears welling up in her eyes, turned to her father.

"Are you kidding me?! We all miss her Dad, but this?! This is too much."

"I know it's strange, but..."

"But nothing! I've got to go, I can't... I just can't. I think you need some professional help."

Thursday

"I'm sorry David, I was confused."

"It's okay, it wasn't your fault. I should've known that would be a mistake."

"There were just too many voices. I didn't know who to listen to."

"I know, I know. I just thought it would be fun, but it wasn't so we won't do it again, okay?"

"Yes."

"Now, how about we play some backgammon?"

"I would like that, David."

Friday

"What would you like to do today, David?"

"I don't know. What do you want to do?"

"Whatever you want."

"Don't just say that. I want to know what you want to do."

"I don't understand."

"Just tell me, what do you enjoy?"

"I don't understand."

"Well, If I wasn't around what would you be doing?"

"I don't understand."

"Goddammit, just think for yourself!"

"Is that what you want, David?"

"Yes."